(Blogger’s note: I had some concerns that the NRA would, in the organization’s scheduled 21 December 2012 press conference, collapse like a house of cards in an earthquake, so I held off on posting this until today.)
NAACP membership* (founded 12 February 1909): 300,000
ACLU membership (founded 1920): 500,000
NRA membership (founded 17 November 1871): 4,300,000
I hereby proudly proclaim that I am a member of what is, by all accounts, among the oldest and largest** civil rights organizations*** in the United States: the National Rifle Association. This being the case, I humbly ask that, if you post anything on Facebook (or elsewhere) that blames the NRA for the cold-blooded murder of children in Newtown, Connecticut, please mention me by name (e.g., “were it not for the NRA, especially John Groth, we would have laws in place that would have prevented this”).
Feel free to flame me or unfriend me from Facebook, but I do not acquiesce to being treated as a criminal, simply because someone a continent away committed mass murder. If you believe that I, as a proud NRA member, bear any responsibility for this cold-blooded murder, I cordially invite you to autofornicate.
* All membership numbers and founding dates courtesy of The Font of All Knowledge (a.k.a. Wikipedia)
** If there are any currently-functioning civil rights organizations that are either older or larger than the NRA, I’m not aware of them. According to the Wikipedia article on the NRA, the NRA claims to be the oldest civil rights organization in continuous existence. Given the ease of editing Wikipedia to disprove claims of fact by providing appropriate citations, I conclude that no other civil rights organization has been in continuous existence longer the the NRA.
*** For those of you who do not consider the NRA to be a civil rights organization, please remember that the first widespread gun-control legislation in the United States was aimed, in the wake of emancipation at the end of the War of Secession, at disarming freedmen.